Overwhelmed by Loneliness
Day 10: Walking in the shoes of the homeless and unemployed
I stayed up as long as I could last night until I knew for sure that I would fall asleep when I hit the bed. Didn’t happen. So, I watched “Gone in 60 Seconds”. Just before I went to sleep, the loneliness overtook me, overwhelmed and flooded me. God told me to say it, feel it, own it. “What do you want?”
In that moment, this fantasy formed in my mind’s crying eyes of my Old Flame calling me, saying that he was coming to Providence. I met up with him, and we spent a fun weekend together. I had no thoughts of the shelter, no thoughts of this work. Just fun. Finally, he said, “Enough is enough. I’m getting you a place to live. I’ll pay for it for a year.”
God immediately interrupted, “What do you want, Sapphire?”
I want a home not a house. I want a family. I don’t want him to swoop in, rescue me, and leave. I want him to stay. I want someone who will stay. I don’t want him to get me out and leave. If he has no intentions to stay, then leave him where he is. I am reminded of a poem I wrote many years ago:
I am lonely
Though not alone
Never alone –
Caressed to sleep
By Mi Luna
Kissed awake by Mi Sol
What dimensionless love
So willingly answers my call?
At any moment
I can connect
With the love
That guides me
Through my loneliness
Only it’s
that Love
I long to see –
Unblurred in my vision
Ethereally clear
Long to touch –
I can sense it massaging my
Most intimate fears
Long to breathe –
I can feel its breeze
Hovering,
Cleansing me
Of my loneliness
Only it’s
that Love –
That kind of love
I long to receive
Humanly
Opportunity to Celebrate
Obviously, we should all celebrate the roof over our heads and the nourishment we receive no matter how it is viewed by economic or social standards. Yet, how can you "celebrate" blessings if you are homeless, hungry, unemployed, and cannot provide for your family? How, as a citizen or community leader, have you honored the value in all individuals regardless of their economic status or living situation? I celebrate by giving praise to God for providing for my needs and then share that praise with others as I do with this blog.
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